A New Deal
I pulled into the beautiful little stop of Anglers Rest with about 200kms ridden under my belt, feeling horrid and ready to pull the pin.
Of course at that point no one feels frisky, but this was different. Something was way off*.
Five farmers there, Sunday arvo, having a beer and a laugh at the picnic table on the grass. Shit that looked good.
Performance pride was irrelevant. “I’m shutting it down” was my internal declaration.
No room on the Sag wagon.** No problems I’ll just rest here until the next one. “Should be in about 15 minutes” they said.
I sat down on the grass, stretched out, decided to take some time, ate and drank as much as I could absorb, and listened to those around me – they were in similar feelings, the connection was natural; individual differences far in the background.
My mindset gradually shifted to make a new deal.
“Maybe you could take a bit more time, then start riding again and just see how you go. If it doesn’t get any better, you can stop then. Go and see…”
Turning Point
The second sag wagon came, and I was close. “Did you want the bus?” Not quite.
Surface suffering yes, but somewhere in me there was also a deeper openness to what was happening.
Slow Speed Momentum
The last climb has an 8km, fairly continuous steep section, and consists of about 25kms of up in total.
I got through the hard bit, and really benefitted from my decision to create a music playlist specifically for this stage of the ride, and play it out load. Only drips and drabs of stragglers were left out on the road anyway, so no real chance of aggravating others. Most smiled as they realised where the sounds were coming from.
Last rest stop, after the first steep 8kms, but still with plenty of persistence required . A can of coke, temperature dropping nicely, daylight starting to fade. More climbing. Stick at it.
Mood had elevated.
The Moment
For those who haven’t been there, the highpoint of the back of Falls Creek from the Omeo side, is an exposed alpine plain. Only at about 1600m attitude, but still a different physical environment after climbing through the forest on the lower slopes.
I’d got to the summit, and all the slow grinding climbing was done. And the entire day was about to become a peak life experience.
- Lovely cool temperature
- Twilight
- No wind, completely calm
- The lake, a silver mirror
- Only scatted individual riders every so often
- No cars
- Sun setting over the west, creating orange and pink tropical looking clouds
- Flatter, faster riding roads
- A brand-new road surface, the smoothest I’ve ever ridden
- New supple tyres on my bike to feel the easy speed and traction on the bends
- Only 10kms to go, coming home with a very wet sail.
The moment was almost overwhelming.
I don’t think it gets any deeper for me.
Blindsided By The Reward
Have you had those experiences so powerful you feel as though you can’t stay in them? You get an urge share it with someone, celebrate it, or mostly probably, explode into light because of it?
But no. Somehow, you’re able to stay present with it.
At some point the moment shifted and I made a quick assessment. This was my reward for persistence, and for the entire event and preparation.
I can still re-create the feeling from that extended moment. The sights, the sounds, the air, the smell, the feeling in my body, the emotion.
Insight
A few days later having re-counted this hell to heaven story a few times to close friends, I had the realisation.
It was the contrast of the physical exhaustion, discomfort, and self-created suffering, with the “cresting-the-summit”, and magnificent elements, which made the experience so powerful.
And I realised it’s always been like this for me. So many times before.
The deep presence, meaning, and feeling of connection to the universe I experience, is BECAUSE of the prior embodied suffering and exertion. It’s a Yin Yan relationship. I don’t get one without the other.
If I had’ve been dropped in there by helicopter it would been beautiful, but not spiritual.
I also realised I’ve ALWAYS been connected to this. With riding, with surfing, with significant, outdoor, moving experiences. So many prior memories had been joined for me. But this was the first time I’d articulated it and been able to define it. And now, I’m writing about it.
For someone who feels most alive when moving, outdoors, in a fun and challenging activity, and sharing it with others, it was enormous.
It’s also, as professional, why I do what I do. I want people to experience more of their own versions of those incredible moments.
What’s the better deal you need to make with yourself?
*Turns out, from sleeping the single night before the event at Falls Creek, the 1600m was high enough to negatively effect me. I have a history of being altitude sensitive, and this was not enough nights to adapt, and not short enough to avoid the short term effects.
**The Sag Wagon is the bus that picks up riders who have missed the time cuts or can’t continue for whatever reason.
If you’ve always had something awesome in mind, or you’re considering something amazing, but it’s also scaring you away from starting, get in touch for a casual chat about how we might work together on it.